All the years I traveled around rural Greece, I searched for stories that described the daily life. Tales of meeting and photographing farmers, shepherds and bakers unfolded. Stories too of bouzouki bar nights and looking for abandoned villages high in the mountains of Epirus near the Albanian border. Yet some of my strongest photographs and narratives centered around the Event—the distilled spirit and feeling of the people revealed through a wedding, a funeral, or a religious celebration.

And so, as I photographed my Roma friends, the search for a gamos, a wedding, to capture that zenith of joy and celebration in the Roma community, became an obsession. When two Roma families are united through marriage, it is an occasion of great elation and a cause for spending large sums of money and eating and drinking and dancing for 3 days on end. I wanted to be there, camera in hand.

I thought it would be easy since I heard upcoming weddings mentioned often. Mitsos and even Evangelia Senior told me in June 2019: “Next week, yes, definitely in Karditsa, a gamos.”  So I packed my Jeep, bought a ferry ticket and set out. Onboard, a large cluster of the family gathered at the stern of the boat. There was Mr. Hollywood, Mitsos, all the cousins laughing and rough-housing—all bound for the wedding too! I drove to Karditsa—two hours once off the ferry—got a room, then called up Mitsos: “No gamos—it’s been cancelled.”

Another gamos was slated for June. This one too faded away. But then a rumor spread that on August 16 not one but two would be celebrated right across the sea in Aliveri. Again, camera, clothes, dog all into the Jeep and onto the ferry. No gamos. I was beginning to think I was jinxed and this was someone’s fantasy. Mitsos? However, this time I was rewarded when I arrived at Aliveri. No gamos but the whole town was dressed up and busily roasting lamb on an open fire and mixing up huge plates of salad, potatoes and bread. Panagia, the Feast of the Blessed Virgin, second in importance only to Easter on the Orthodox calendar, was getting underway. Everyone was joyous and with 4 hours of eating and beer drinking, the whole village was rocking, singing and dancing. Lucky stars were finally shining on me.

Over the months, I’ve learned my Roma friends live for the moment. Why make solid plans as they will probably change? Trips to the mainland, weddings, all depended on variables that could easily change— a shipment of fruits and vegetables suddenly arrives; the bride price needs renegotiating. Drop what you’re doing and just go. Fluidity is essential for survival. Living on the edge as they do requires nimbleness. Some say the gypsies just like to lie and obscure the truth. But looking deeper, I like to believe that the Roma just love a good story. Stretching and bending the truth— storytelling, after all is far more entertaining than the straight and simple truth. Telling what your listener wants to hear leaves everyone happier in the end. Except me. Finding a gamos is still in my future.